My December

I know it’s been forever since I have posted on here, but that just means life has been a bit uneventful, or there are thing’s I’m trying to figure out how to say thing’s and say them in the most profound words I can.

December 11^th I found out my sassy little friend Cheyanne past away. She was 8 months old when she past away. I met Cheyanne and her mom Stacy in the NICU when Delilah was born, Dr.Martin got Stacy and I talking, and it never seemed to stop lol. In the way we met I feel we became close rather fast but when you deal with what we did you get close to people in the same situation. I miss little sassy more then words can say, I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to go see her, I’m sad I didn’t get a chance to go to the funeral, but I am thankful I got to know her and have her in my life. I believe people are put on this world for a reason no matter how short or long. They are put in our lives for one reason or another, we may never see the reason but we know there was something and our hearts are forever changed by them.

Cheyanne on World Prematurity Day rocking the purple! 

Because of Cheyanne and Delilah being so early I met an amazing women with the most strength I have seen in a person. I met Stacy. I admire her strength and her faith in God, she has so many qualities I would like my daughters to have. I asked Stacy to be Delilah’s Godmother! Now Delilah and Aria have an Aunt Stacy in their lives!

The pins we are having made to wear for the March of Dimes walk in Memory of Cheyanne.

I turned 33 this year (December 14th) and my friends Becky, Carrie and Saera made it a great day! oh and Pam made me super yummy cupcakes! (I love cupcakes)

Delilah’s 1^st Christmas was great we spent time with my mom’s side of the family on Christmas Eve, both girls did really well even though it was past their bedtime. I tried getting Aria (2 ½ years old) excited about Santa and tracking him on Facebook. I think I was more excited then she was lol, next year she will be super excited I bet.

Full family picture with Mom and J

Delilah in her bumbo on Christmas morning

My stepson Ricky finally got to meet his youngest sister Delilah! Aria won’t leave him alone, which is awesome.

1st full family picture since Delilah was born

Delilah 7 1/2 months, Aria 2 1/2, Ricky 14.

Delilah and I went to go visit Dr.Martin for the 1^st time since she came home, she is a bit worried with Delilah’s movements and wanted to send her for am MIR to check her brain. Dr.Martin says Delilah is moving her arms to jerky and without purpose, so she is concerned it could be a form of CP (cerebral palsy) I am not worried and I told her to stop messing with my baby lol. We go for a 6 month adjusted age appointment in February so we will see what’s going on then. If she still moves that way we will have to get a MRI, if there is anything wrong we will start physical therapy.

Well that’s all I got for now (I think)

Hugs and love

lol had to share this picture, Rick and Aria "sleeping" with the new Kentucky blankets we got from Johnny and Laura. 

faith

In my life I have had my ups and downs, I lost my older brother in 1995 very suddenly he was the 1^st person I knew (personally) to die who wasn’t old (which is what happened when your old). My dad was less than a year in 1996 later no one knew what to think of his suicide. Saturday December 10^th (tomorrow) my dad would have turned 60 I miss him so much.

As you all know reading this blog we had a very hard time with my pregnancies and after was scarier then being pregnant. We had a miscarriage in May of 2010 that not many people know about I think of that baby everyday.

We have had (like everybody) financial ups and a down, relationship ups and downs just crazy life stuff that happens to us all. But the one thing I never lose sight of is faith.

Having faith that everything will be ok no matter how stressful life gets is what’s gotten me through my crazy life.

I was on facebook when I saw a post for a Youtube video, now I don’t normally watch these video’s but I had seen a lot of my friends had posted this once certain video so I figured ok ill watch it. There are no words just a young man and index cards, maybe it was the timing of me watching the video but I cried (yes I’m more emotional now I had my girls) but his message was what I needed to hear at that moment. I’m going to try and share the link on my blog (wish my luck I do it right)

With out all the stress and the craziness, the ups and downs losing people I love so much having to deal with scary micro preemie NICU insanity I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have met the people I have met. So I have faith God has a plan for me and it’s bigger then what I can see in front of me.

So if your ever sad of feeling depressed and you need someone to talk to I am here! I love you all (even if I don’t know you) Hugs and love!


http://youtu.be/0dgadTcVu60 I hope i did this right watch the video :)

Such a slacker

Today was the 2^nd round of Synergist for Delilah to protect her from lungs RSV, she got weighed and we found out she is 10lbs 12oz she is 7 months old (corrected age 3 ½ months). I was wondering how big Aria was at this age so I pulled out her baby book and realized how much of a slacker I am. I stopped writing in her book at 5 months. What is wrong with me? How can I have stopped writing in her book at 5 months she weighed 8lbs 1oz. I did find her 6month sheet from the Dr and she weighed 9lbs 8.8oz. hahahaha I have pictures of Aria in her book I just didn’t write in it.

I am also sad I haven’t made a book for Delilah. How many of use actually look at our baby books when we grow up?

So since this is kind of my baby book for Delilah let me tell you about her silliness! Today she sat up just holding my finger while at the doctors, we have tried veggies with her and she has NO interest in them she does do well with her oatmeal just no veggies. We will try again in a week or so; I’m sure she’s going to be just like her sister and HATE veggie and only like fruit. Aria could eat a whole cantaloupe if I let her.

Delilah loves her exasaucer but hates laying down, I think she gets mad cause she can’t see everything she wants to see. Darn world goes away and the ceiling is BORING! Funny how we think we know what our kids are thinking lol

Going through Aria’s baby book i saw this and wanted to share it with everyone.

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” 
― Shel Silverstein

Well guess that’s it for now, I am so not witty on paper. (or computer) I have so many funny thing’s I think to say as I drive or shower, just not when I’m anywhere I can put it down lol

Hugs and love <3

March of Dimes

This may sound dumb but you know I never knew anything about preeclampsia, or HELP syndrome, and to be even more honest I didn’t even know I had HELP syndrome with Aria until I got pregnant with Delilah.

There is so much that happened with each pregnancy that nobody knows about. It’s hard to talk about and even to remember all the details. All I knew with Aria was I couldn’t see her for 2-3 days and I was hooked up to a ton of thing’s. I found out later I was almost dead how scary is that to hear?

I have decided to do something to help people to get educated on preemie I am going to walk in the March of Dimes at Kensington in Milford. On April 29^th so far I know I have a great team and I hop it gets bigger. We have a lot of great ideas on fundraisers it’s going to be a lot of fun. if you’d like to join our team follow the link below. If you can't walk with us, please help by donating to our team. You can do so right on this page. Thank you for helping us give all babies a healthy start!

http://www.marchforbabies.org/team/t1759986

Amazed

I am still amazed Delilah is doing so great! We were ready for so much craziness and the worst case you could imagine (i don't like saying the words we heard) Delilah weighs 9lbs 3oz :) Delilah just got her 1st Cinergist shot yesterday, she will have to get them for 7 months and what Cinergist is for: it helps protect her little lungs fro RSV What is respiratory syncytial virus (RSV)?
RSV is the most common cause of bronchiolitis (inflammation of the lower airways) and pneumonia in babies. It is an illness that often occurs in yearly outbreaks in communities and in newborn intensive care units (NICUs). In the United States, RSV is more common in winter and spring months.

But back to her weight! can you believe that May 5th 2011 I gave birth to a 1Lbs 3Oz baby? where she is at is like 9 of my kids lol :) Delilah would be 2 months right now is she was born full term and from what i read online she is right on track as to her development.

It is hard sometimes for me to remember she's not a 5 month old baby, i mean yes she's 5 (almost 6) months old but i really have to remind myself she should only be 2 months old. It's so fun watching her grow and learn new thing's I can not wait for next year and I can see Aria and Delilah playing together :)

When I grow up!

Having a preemie is a roller coaster most people would never stand in line to ride, but my life has been on this ride two times as most of you know. Yes I wished I could have gone full term with both of my miracles but that’s just not what god had planned. Delilah has been home now for 2 months 1 week and 5days yet it seems so much longer! There are days I forget what it was like to be in the NICU but some days I’m flooded with the memories and I thank god everyday my teeny tiny survived all she did.

I wish there was something I could do for the staff of the NICU at St.Joe’s I know they were doing their jobs but them doing their jobs saved my baby! They gave me something I was told I never would have and now I have 2 beautiful tiny girls who melt my soul! Anyone who has had to spend time in the NICU (in any NICU) can tell you, they felt more alone in their lives. Even when family and friends and amazing support systems surround you, you feel alone and helpless I have friends who have been in the NICU (I met two very close friends in there) but you still alone every body goes through something so different and scary but all you can do is be there for each other.

Delilah is doing so amazing! She makes me laugh her little body wants to stand up and dance around like her big sister Aria, but she’s still learning to hold her head up but once she does I think she will go nuts in the bouncer saucer! I cant wait for next summer to see my two girls playing together!

Recently I have been thinking about my life and what I want to do with it (sad I know I’m almost 33 and I still don’t know what I want do when I grow up lol) but I think I have figures it out but I don’t even know where to start, I want to help the parents well families who have been in the NICU. I would love to have a gym for kids (like a gymbore) but so kids who are smaller then most or have special needs, I want a place where they don’t see there walker or wheelchair, I want them to be able to play and grow. I also want the parents, grandparent and other siblings to have other people in their situation to talk to. Maybe not talk about what’s going on with the kids but just new friends.

I have seen so many parents with sick kids taking them to a billion appointments a month they have no time for friends and sometimes I feel the other kids feel like they are pushed to the side, this would give them a place to be with other kids in their situation, and maybe have therapist (consolers) to talk to.

But how do I do this? Where do I even start? Does anyone know?

12 days away

Today Delilah is 3 months old and 12 days away from her due date, so August 17^th I will officially have a newborn LOL! Yes I find amusement in this. Wednesday she weighed 4lbs 10oz! Sorry I haven’t posted on here in awhile but I was waiting for they oxygen and monitor to come off and update after she was home for a few weeks.

listening to Johnny Cash lullabys

So since we have been home: well she went into the ER last Friday since her temp got down to 94.3 YIKES! She wouldn’t eat and was being very lazy, yes preemies are lazy babies to begin with but she has a lot of awake time and would not wake up.

Let me tell you it is very over whelming having a tiny baby in the ER, as soon as I got her temp put of my mouth they swarmed us. Which Is great but kind of scary too, they did a lot of blood work but that all came back perfect. They admitted her back into the NICU started an IV, did a spinal tap, ummm MORE blood work and still everything came back they thought maybe she just dropped her temp and couldn’t get it back up on her own but nope that wasn’t the case. They kept her tell Wednesday the 3^rd tell she got better, we are guessing she got a little virus of some kind (none of us are sick so its scary) now I annoy the crap put of her checking her temp before every feeding and she is bundled up to keep her good and warm.

me trying to get a picture of there heads by each other

On the plus side while she was in the hospital she got taken off the monitor and the oxygen YAY!!!!!!!! I love looking at her sweet little face without the crap up her nose! She has chubby little cheeks and man can that little girl cry! If you don’t have her food ready when she wants it lol watch out! Like right now, now she is fed and sleeping again, which I should do, but I made the mistake of napping at 3pm today.

While Delilah was in the hospital she had her eyes looked at again and the ROP is going away very nicely on it’s own, the goal is a month after her due date that it be gone.

silly girls

Aria still loves her little sister, she has some moments that she gets a little snotty but she’s also been center of attention for 2 years but all in all she’s being a great big sister and a big helper. When Delilah cry’s Aria will say it’s ok Delilah! OH the 1^st night home Delilah’s monitor went off and I heard Aria in her room (at like 3am) “Ok Ok Delilah stop”. She will stand on her chair or her stool next to the bassinet and sing twinkle twinkle little star to Delilah and tell her stories, she has to kiss her good night or she throws a fit lol I hope they love each other this month as they get older.

Why are you taking this picture mom? i want to sleep

Hugs and love