I know.........................

I know I am impatient,

I know I am whiny,

I know I am a pain in the ass,

I know I am emotional,

I know thing’s are rough right now,

I know Delilah is doing good,

I know I am worried everyday,

I know I am ready to be back to work,

I know I want to be a stay at home mom,

I know I sound like I am complaining.

I am impatient and wish I could change that but I am like everybody, I want instant gratification. I am whiny cause I am me hehe! I am a pain in the ass cause I want everything and I want it now (hello impatient) I am emotional cause I am kind of stressed the hell out. Things are rough cause my baby is in the hospital and not in my belly getting big and letting me have a normal pregnancy. Delilah is doing amazing considering how small she is and how sick she was. I worry everyday cause I am a mom. I’m ready to be back at work so time goes by faster. I want to be a stay at home mom and enjoy my girls. And I know it sounds like I am complaining cause I am telling you how I feel and why.

There are a lot of thing’s I know but some it take me longer to accept. Delilah had to go back to the high flow canula and is up at 2 liters, Dr.Martin and all her nurses have told me that this is ok. It is not a set back.  But to me it feels like one and it scares the hell out of me!

They had to take her down to 10ml of food due to too much air in her little belly the other day, today she went up to 12ml and if she handles that ok they will go back up to 14ml around midnight.

When I called this morning Michelle told me Delilah had 3 of her events (not breathing) last night, which can and more then likely is due to getting to comfy and forgetting to breathe. This is normal for preemies and a hard thing for me to deal with, they say it’s nothing and such a minor thing she’s doing. To me it a huge deal but we also didn’t have to deal with these problems with Aria. Also she has no BIG problems so these problems seem huge to me.

This afternoon she was doing good and just sleeping, now it’s time to make my nightly call and make sure she’s doing ok before I go to bed. I can’t wait tell she is home, I know we have along way to go still and I need as many prayers as any of you are willing to give. Delilah’s lungs still need to develop and well all her little organs need to mature more and she needs to keep gaining weight.

Just called Angela and she said Delilah is doing great now, when she first got there tonight she was floating (little events is the best way to say it) a little bit and when she looked she was at 21% so she turned her back up to 28% and she has been doing perfect. Just praying she starts to handle it all soon and hoping I start to have patients even sooner.

Oh we also gave everybody permission to buy cloths for Delilah LOL yes we asked people not to buy stuff for a while since she was so sick when she was born. So now we gave people the go ahead but NO preemie cloths allowed, once she comes home she will probably be over 5lbs.

Hugs and Love.

P.s I wonder is any of our nurses in the NICU ever read these and think I’m bat shit crazy?

Delilah in her hat made by Tina @ Lovebug's crafty creation (here's her facebook page)

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/lovebugscraftycreations?sk=wall

She was contacted by a friend of mine Tina, and Tina at lovebug's sent Delilah some cloths I can't wait for to wear. She has to be about 3-3 1/2 lbs before we can start putting cloths on her but once we can I will post pictures ASAP :) they are so cute!

and here is Delilah next to Daddy's hand to show how big she is a little over 2lbs at 6 weeks old.